Boring
by Glimare
Summary: One Shot: To increase their observation skills, Batman makes the team go to an opera. They are not whelmed, nor feel any aster. Pure crack.


**Disclaimer:** now to the boring thing. I don't own Young Justice. DC does. Now I shall bore you to tears.

Or make you laugh hysterically. thought of this today while i was working. had to put it down. Very short. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Boring<strong>

_Do we have to do this?_ They heard Wally grumble for the fifth time that night.

_Unfortunately_, Robin agreed. He seemed more bored than the speedster.

_Shut up you two!_ Artemis barked back. _I wanna hear this!_

_So beautiful!_ Megan agreed

_There's a man in a green cape coming in stage left_, Kaldur piped in, his mind focused on the mission at hand.

_Booorring….._ Wally whined, slouching in his seat.

_Try seeing it three times in a row_, Robin growled.

_Dude! You've seen this three times?_

_No fair!_ Artemis griped.

_And can quote half of it_, Robin added.

_Can you all shut up!_ Conner interjected. _You're making me miss everything!_

_There's nothing to miss_, Robin corrected him, rolling his eyes far above them. As Dick Grayson he sat beside Bruce Wayne in the Gotham Opera House, both stiffing yawns. It was part charity function, part stake out, part training. Mostly it was corporal punishment for the boy wonder.

Three times. Three times he'd seen this stupid opera and Bruce wouldn't tell him why. And that afternoon, Batman dragged his friends there saying it was a training mission, one to improve their observation skills. They were to watch the show, and everything around them. There would be a test later.

Course Dick knew better. It was a stake out, and Batman wanted as many pairs of eyes looking as possible. Something was supposed to happen at one of these opera events but nothing had happened yet. So each member of his team sat in random seats around the hall, and he and Bruce were in their private box. They were supposed to keep in mental contact in case they saw anything peculiar, but Dick kept blocking them out when he had to talk to Bruce.

There was no way he was going to endure this thing three times in pure silence.

"Who are we looking for?" Dick muttered lowly, trying to keep his lips from moving too much. Bored little rich kids didn't talk too loudly at these things unless they wanted a week without an allowance.

Bruce hid a smirk as he covered his mouth for a yawn. "You'll know when you see him."

"Him, male, great." This was one place they were allowed to show they were bored. Bruce Wayne was the billionaire playboy who partied more than followed classics. But since he took in Dick Grayson, he was trying to set a good example and therefore turned a 'new leaf' by taking him to classical operas and museums and the like. He always did charities, but it was less of a party and more of an education.

The real Bruce though hated operas solely for the act they were boring. He had to endure them as a child, and like Dick now probably saw this one a handful of times and could quote it word for word. Didn't matter what language it was, he could do it. Dick knew it and shook his head.

Operas were a way for rich people to see each other and to be seen. It was a way to declare your status and see who was really among the elite. He saw the Kanes the other night and knew Bette's bag didn't just have her cell phone in it. Two nights ago he saw the Drakes, and they had to leave part way through because Timmy had an accident during the "scary part". Dick could name most of the Gotham high class easily, and each of their scandals if he paid enough attention to them.

"High class?" He murmured, trying to figure out exactly who he was supposed to be looking for.

"Almost."

_Boring….._ Wally thought again. _What are they saying anyway?_

_I believe there is another actor coming through the side entrance_, Kaldur pitched in again, not giving Wally any heed.

_He's talking about his homeland_, Conner informed them.

Dick tried not to smirk or put in his two cents. Of course the clone would know Italian. He was taught almost everything by those G-nomes.

_Please tell me he's going to kill that traitor_, Artemis begged. From what Dick could tell, she was really getting into the performance. Most of them were.

Leaning over the box, the circus boy watched his friends around the room. Conner was in the back so his super hearing could adjust to the noise easier (Clark had to stay away from orchestra pits too), a slight smile on his face. Kaldur was one of the people standing on the side of the room, observant as ever. Wally slouched bored next to his Uncle and Aunt in the cheep seats towards the middle (the couple were enjoying each other over the opera). Megan was right next to the pit, straining her neck to see everything and crying from how beautiful everything seemed. Artemis was on the edge of her seat towards the back to the side, biting her lip in anticipation.

Dick grinned. _He doesn't, but someone else does!_

_Hey!_ Conner objected, _No spoilers!_

_She's the wrong one for you!_ Megan chirped without a thought. _Please please realize that!_

_Dude, where are you?_ Wally asked, so bored now he wanted to run off with Robin to wreak havoc on someone's dressing room.

Dick groaned, controlling his thoughts. _You don't want to know. Seriously, you don't._

_Best seats in the house?_

_More like bird's eye view_. Truth be told, it wasn't the best seat, but it was pretty close. Bruce purchased this box because he had a clear view of everything but what was on stage. It also had a quick easy exit and curtains for extra privacy when needed.

Wally looked up to the catwalks above him in curiosity, making Dick smirk. Oh how hard Wally tried. _That sucks. Bats with you?_

_Yeah. He's loving it too._ Dick snuck another look at Bruce. The man was covering another yawn, this one real. The dark knight hadn't slept in two days except in the car going to work and back. Add boring operas and he was bound to start falling asleep.

_Will you two shut up and start paying attention?_ Artemis quipped. She really wanted to see this thing after all.

_Why? They aren't_. Wally looked over to his Aunt and Uncle, making Dick curiously look over. They clearly weren't paying the slightest heed to the performance. Everyone else would see a strange married couple making out in their seats. The long time friends though saw two adults who were setting poor examples during a training exercise. Bruce had stopped trying to bring them around when Barry asked if he was jealous.

_They aren't superheroes!_

_Right._

Dick quickly covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing too loud, blocking out his friends once again. Bruce eyed him curiously as he shook, controlling his laughter only a little. Oh, this was such a good inside joke, it was hard not to tell! He didn't stop shaking and laughing until a minute after Bruce placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"Do I need to take you outside?" He asked quietly. Dick shook his head no, then straightened himself, a barely controlled smile on his face. Bruce raised an eyebrow. "I'll want to know what was so funny later."

"Yes sir," the boy managed to say, barely at acceptable volume. The team kept the adults out of the mind link so they could have unsupervised talks without any consequences, especially for missions like these. On occasion though, Dick liked to tell Bruce and Alfred all the things they said, usually the stupid things Wally said. The guy was hysterical!

Finally in control of himself, the still grinning Dick Grayson looked back over the theater. Nothing had changed in the crowd except Wally attempting to find a comfortable spot in his chair to sleep and Conner starting to cry from the show. Slowly he went over his brief discussion with Bruce in his mind, getting himself back on the right track. He still didn't know who to expect, but the list was smaller. Someone sneaky, someone higher class or working with the high class, male, and liked…

He slapped his forehead. Duh. Penguin.

Bruce gave him a sidelong look at the motion, then grew a knowing smirk. The man gave the kid three days to figure out the perp. The contact or target was the question. Dick could tell this was going through his mentor's mind, and shook his head. One of these days he was going to get Bruce to just tell him instead of making him figure it all out himself.

"Think he'll show?"

"There's only one more performance left," Bruce muttered, rubbing his chin in thought.

Dick groaned. "One more night of this?"

"Doubt it." It was more a hope in the detective's statement than a fact. He really didn't want to be there either.

"So he comes, we nab him?"

Bruce shook his head. "Need to know who his contact is."

"Ah." Dick slid back into his chair and watched the crowd again. Artemis was hugging herself, intensely watching every motion on the stage. Megan was in tears, feeling every emotion the playwright wanted her to feel. Wally was dozing off while his relatives continued to cuddle. Conner had every sense of his strained on the stage, a very good member of the audience. Kaldur seemed to be the only one observing people rather than watching a show.

"They're not going to see him," Dick stated flatly. Sure the first night he watched the show, but he also noticed when Bette took out her iPod and snuck it under her hair to listen to her music. He knew exactly which line it was that sacred the six year old Timmy. Heck, he even knew exactly when the Allens started making out and when Bruce told them off!

Bruce nodded. "Probably not, but it'll be a good lesson for them anyway. They'll learn from their mistakes if he—"

"There he is." The boy inclined his head towards one of the back doors near the stairs to the box seats. The man didn't move his head to see Penguin waddle to them clearly, but he did nod. "Bout time."

"Nice job. Now, who is he going to see?"

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><p>"Wait a minute," Wally started, glaring at the boy wonder. "You're telling me we weren't supposed to even look at the stage?"<p>

Robin looked away behind his sunglasses, still in the stuffy suit from the opera. "Well he did say to observe the place. Not necessarily the show."

"Dude, the only thing I could observe other than that, were the two next to me sucking face!"

"Boys." Artemis shook her head, feeling slightly ashamed. Nearly everyone thought the practice was about observing the actors and predicting when they'd go on stage. No one realized a real crime was being set up behind the scenes.

"How were we supposed to see anything important when we didn't even know what to look for?" Kaldur insisted. He had taken mental notes on pretty much everything on stage, giving the doors next to him no heed.

"Well…" Robin rubbed his head as he tried to explain Batman's reasoning. Bruce was already looking in on the man Penguin met that night, leaving him to inform them on whether they passed his test or not. "With Batman, and quite a few others, sometimes being vague is how they tell you to think for yourself. Sometimes the lack of instruction, is instruction. Does that mean it's struction?"

Before Robin could come up with another new word for them to tease others with, M'gann stepped forward, still smiling from the performance. "Can you please tell Batman that we had a lovely time anyway? The opera was wonderful!"

Robin looked up at her in shock. "You really enjoyed it?"

"Uhuh!" M'gann's smile broadened, and so did Conner's and Artemis'. Looking between the three of them, Robin's jaw dropped. Wally gave them a similar look while Kaldur merely shrugged, completely indifferent.

"Dude! I couldn't stay awake!"

"You think that's bad?" Robin started. "I had to see it three times. THREE TIMES! And he wouldn't tell me why! I had to figure it out! Lucky Cobblebot came by tonight, or I'd be there tomorrow too!"

He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. Bruce didn't need him to be there all those nights and they both knew it. This was punishment for changing the bat-computer's sound bites again, this time to a Star Wars theme. Really, they needed to change things up once in a while. Else things just got boring.

"Dude, that sucks."

END

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><p>AN: *diez laughing* Okay, no offence to Operas, but it is considered pretty standard that they're boring, mostly because we have no idea what they're saying! That's why musicals translated into our native tongues are so good. read somewhere else they were used by high class people as a social gathering place too.

Liked all the cameos? Name them if you dare.

Now Rob's little explanation is something I kinda have an issue with. Someone told me I had too perfect of an OC character when I told them to have fun with her. Probably should hare rebutted them, but wasn't caring at the time. Apparently I had to state her flaws instead of them thinking of some on their own. Kinda don't do that, i rather just state skills and figure out their flaws as i go. just because someone didn't state something clearly, doesn't mean they do or don't have it. Inferring things is lots of fun, plus part of detective work. Try it some times, it's called reading between the lines. =P

JK, no offence meant. I'm just rude without trying.


End file.
